When one partner is very jealous of the other, this can have a crippling effect on the relationship. And in really extreme cases, jealousy can kill.
As far as emotions go, jealousy is one of the most powerful and primitive and primal that we currently feel as human beings.
So do not take jealousy lightly.
As a matter of fact, you have to take this very seriously so that it does not get a stranglehold over your marriage and bring it to a swift and decided end.
Dealing with your own personal jealousy is manageable since you do have some control over the emotional states that you feel.
A jealous partner, on the other hand, is difficult to deal with because they can become unreasonable, wild, and incredibly unpredictable.
Your Partner’s Jealousy Is Not Your Responsibility
More often than not, as people we have a tendency to take on other people’s problems and make them our own.
You have to remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s jealousy. You did not create the problem, although they might want you to believe that you did.
At the same time, you could potentially be partly responsible for this situation.
As an example, if you constantly flirt with other people, you are helping to create the feelings of jealousy that your spouse feels.
Or an even worse example, if you have an affair with somebody else, your partner is definitely going to feel jealous because of your actions and the feelings of hurt and pain that you cause them.
On the other hand, if you didn’t do anything to provoke these feelings of jealousy, your partner will experience things like fear, sadness, depression, anger, jealousy and other emotions that really have nothing to do with you and everything to do with how they feel.
It’s impossible to use “voodoo” or “magic” to make somebody suddenly start feeling happy.
They are going to feel whatever emotion they feel, and you’re going to have to learn how to deal with it if jealousy is the problem being aimed at you.
Ending Feelings of Jealousy When It’s Your Fault
Remember earlier when we talked about too much flirting and cheating on your partner?
Well, if you are the one creating the feelings of jealousy because of your actions, it’s time to finally straighten up and fly right.
If you aren’t being faithful – even excessive flirting could be portrayed as being unfaithful – then you need to take matters into your own hands and start being a better human being.
You have to start thinking reasonably about your situation.
Stop flirting immediately. Put an end your affair right away.
This might not even end the jealousy immediately, but it will put an end to it eventually, so you have to be patient and willing to let these emotions naturally dissipate on their own with time.
What about Unreasonable Jealousy?
Now, if your partner is being unreasonably jealous for no reason, you need to discover your threshold for this level of emotion.
Everybody has their breaking point. Remember that.
You’re only going to be able to put up with so much jealousy before you either convince them to stop acting this way or possibly leave or just threaten to leave.
Then again, jealous emotional flare-ups are sometimes a part of relationships. As long as this doesn’t really pose a major problem or create a major gap between the two of you, then you may have to accept the fact that your jealous spouse is going to boil over from time to time.
In a way, you could look at it as a compliment because they think so highly of you that they get jealous just thinking about who you are and your life in general.
On the other hand, it might seem like your partner has inappropriate jealousy that is ruining the serenity of your relationship.
Is your partner jealous of your friends? Is he or she creating problems with the people you like to hang out with the most?
Sitting down to Talk to Your Partner about His/her Jealousy
At this stage of the game, you really need to have an important conversation with your partner. You have to get to the root of their jealousy in order to help them overcome it.
On the other hand, you may never get to the root of their jealousy and this might be a signal that it’s time to move on with your life and find somebody new.
But ultimately this has to begin with a conversation.
So sit down and talk about it.
And make sure it’s a grown-up conversation. Be direct, frank, and get right to the point about the subject at hand.
You may be nervous having this conversation with your partner.
So, instead of coming into this situation unprepared, take some time to write down your thoughts and questions that you might have to help move the conversation forward.
In fact, you should create a list. And on this list, mention all of the ways that your partner’s jealousy has caused harm and disharmony in your relationship.
Setting up Emotional and Personal Boundaries
Now that the conversation is underway, and you’ve got everything out in the open, you have to tell your spouse about the new personal and emotional boundaries that you want this individual to recognize.
Everybody is different.
As an example, let’s say you and your partner currently have a joint Facebook account.
And on this account, you have friends that regularly comment on your photos, posts, videos, and anything else that you share on the social media site.
This could potentially make someone very jealous. This is especially true if members of the opposite sex are commenting, liking, and sharing the information that you post online.
If this is a problem for you and your partner, it’s time to rectify the situation.
Stop sharing a Facebook account!
Tell your partner that you both need to create your own individual accounts. And if you want to take it to the next level, do not friend your spouse on Facebook if it’s going to keep the problem alive.
This is just one example of many emotional boundaries that you need to set.
So take some time to think of others, talk to your partner about them, and make sure you follow through to prevent jealousy from rearing its ugly head again.
If you use this advice, the jealousy should dissipate and you’ll have a much happier relationship over the long run. If not, you are probably best clicking this link and finding a new partner in crime on my list of approved dating sites.