Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone

When you’ve just started going out with a girl, or talking to a girl online, you’re trying to figure out who she is and if you can see a future with her. The goal of the first few dates is to get to know her better. Sometimes that is not as easy as you’d expect. We’ve all been there before, trying to figure out the right things to ask to get the answers to what you really want to know about her and see if she’s a fit for you.

If you’re tongue-tied and are having a tough time making conversation besides asking about the weather or whatever is in the news, here are a number of questions that will stimulate conversation and get you two to know each other better and see if you’re a match. The key is knowing the right questions to ask, and if you follow this list you’ll be chatting all night and getting valuable information on each other.

what to ask to get to know somebody

Deep Questions to Get to Know Somebody

Before you dig in to asking these questions, here are a few things you should keep in mind to get the moust out of them. First, you need to give them time to answer the question fully. Don’t interrupt. Let them finish. Secondly, be aware that some of these questions may bring up sensitive subjects, so have awareness and treat them with compassion. Lastly, be aware of your situation and don’t ask a question at the wrong time. For instance, don’t ask them something too personal on a first date. Save those for later when you know them more and have a closer relationship. Also, if she asks you these questions, be truthful. On another page we talk about the biggest lies to avoid when dating.

The first question you can ask them to get a sense of who they are is to ask where do you see yourself in five years? This is a common question you can ask on a date and you may see it in a job interview, too. The reason is because it divulges so much about a person. What are their goals? What do they value? What is most important to this person? If you can see yourself in those five year plans, chances are you’ll be sticking around.

Another thing you could ask is what would you do with a million dollars? This is a classic question that again will tell you what is important to them. Will they blow it all on luxury goods or will they pay off debt or will they help out friends or family or will they invest it? If you’re looking for someone who enjoys fun, cheap dates, you’ll be running from someone who sees that money as a chance for a shopping spree.

Lastly, another thing you can inquire of them is where would they travel if they could travel anywhere in the world? Asking this question lets you know where they think they would be the happiest, and says a lot about their interests and style. Maybe she’ll answer with a clever “here” and you’ll know you’ve found someone who wants to be in your life.

These are just a few ice breakers to find out what someone is like and what they value and help you get to know each other. Spring these queries on your next date and see if you and her are a match!


Tom Savage is a serial dater living in Miami Beach, Florida. In between pool parties, late nights, and an occasional day trading session, he likes to share his tips on meeting women online. You can contact Tom on this page.

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