How to Get Rid of an Obsessive Ex-Girlfriend

So you were in a relationship with a girl and it didn’t work out. That’s alright, it happens to the best of us, there’s a lot of reasons why relationships fail. Most of the time these things end smoothly and you go your separate ways cordially. But other times it’s not so pretty and you find yourself in a scary predicament with a girl who just can’t let go. These things need to be treated delicately. You want her out of your life, but you also do not know what she may be capable of and don’t want to trigger any kind of irrational response. Here’s how to tread lightly with this situation before it becomes something out of control.

Dealing With an Obsessive Ex-Girlfriend

If you want to cut ties for good, here’s a few things to keep in mind.

Make Your Message Clear

The first thing that should be done is establishing boundaries for the post-relationship times. Be clear with your message that you no longer want to be with her and that the relationship is over. Failing to be resolute in this will give her reason to look for any little evidence that you still care and follow up on that impulse obsessively. Do not send any mixed signals such as saying “I will always love you”, as that just fuels her obsession and opens up the door for her to think there may be a chance to rekindle things sometime down the line.

get rid of an obsessive ex

After this message is communicated, don’t linger around. Resist the urge to console her. The longer you stay around, the more opportunity you give her to make an attempt to change your mind about ending the relationship. Your time is better spent moving on to the next girl (check out our online dating profile tips once you hit the dating scene again).

Draw the Line on What’s Acceptable Behavior

She might try doing a lot of things to get your attention and work her way back into your life. You need to decide for yourself what is acceptable and what is not. She may be calling or texting you at a late hour, driving by your house (just happened to be in the neighborhood, of course), or sending innocent texts to get into your consciousness. Know what you are willing to accept, and if she crosses that line do not give in to her by giving her your attention. Let her know that you will not accept these behaviors.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

A tactic that she may employ is using your feelings against you. She can try to make you feel guilty or sorry about her being on her own. She will say anything to make you feel bad for her. Do not let her manipulate you by playing to your emotions, and remember that her emotions are not your responsibility. The best way to avoid this, when she starts doing it, is to simply remove yourself from the situation. If that is impossible, simply tell her that you cannot speak to her until she calms down. Obsessive exes crave control, and if you do not cede control of the situation, then she will find someone else to overpower.

crazy ex girlfriend

Above All, Be Nice

All of the above things are important to keep in mind, but the most important thing is to keep your cool and be the bigger person in this situation. Do not lose your cool or be a dick to her. Being strong and firm does not mean to be rude. Do not reward her insults with giving her the attention she is seeking. Take the higher road, let her know that her tactics are futile, let her know that you are understanding that she is upset, but things are done.

If you let a girl down the right way, hopefully this is a situation you won’t encounter. But if you find yourself with an obsessive ex, follow the above tips and she should get the picture and be out of your life for good!


Tom Savage is a serial dater living in Miami Beach, Florida. In between pool parties, late nights, and an occasional day trading session, he likes to share his tips on meeting women online. You can contact Tom on this page.

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