When going through a divorce, it can be nerve racking getting back into the dating scene. You may not know where to start or what to expect as you go out and play the field. Maybe you haven’t even used an app like Bumble, or this popular profile swiping app.
Be that as it may, you should brush up on how things are in the year 2017 and re-acclimate yourself to the new climate of dating.
1. Ensure You are Ready for Dating
You can be hurt, shamed, and downright sad after your divorce. Make sure you have spent time getting help if you needed it, or you could just be wasting people’s time on the dating scene. If you haven’t learned from your past, it’s time to look in the mirror and do so.
You’ll be an entirely “new” person when you are single. You need to see who you are as a single person, and find out what that person likes, and dislikes. You may be shocked at that answer. Love yourself, and know that you have challenges ahead re-entering the dating world.
2. Mingle
Get out and and meet people. Bars, clubs, lounges, networking events, whatever. Just be social. Don’t think you will just get your second wife (if that’s what you seek) magically one day. You have to put the word out there to friends, family, and colleagues that you are single. Either fire up a dating site for long term relationships, or a quick hook up app, if you don’t want to be out and about.
Other places you can meet people include spin class, or even at yoga.
3. Have an Open Mind
You may be seeing people who don’t look or feel like your ex. That’s just fine. You may not consider going out with people because they are different, but you should keep an open mind about the whole ordeal. You may find out that you are attracted to someone entirely different than you would have liked in your past. You can also sift through various traits to see which ones you like best. Learn from it, and it’ll only help increase your confidence and make you aware of what you want for your future.
4. Keep Your Ex Out of Your Mouth
Nobody wants to hear about your bad break up, how bad she was, or how things didn’t work out. Let the times come to you, and don’t dwell on the past. It’ll do nothing but bring up bad memories or hurt you. It will also turn off your new partner. Get to know one another and let that topic surface. If it does, go into it with one toe, so to speak, and test the waters. Refrain from talking nasty about the past as well, as nobody wants to hear about bad times.
Being patient will go a long way towards helping you gain situational awareness in the dating scene. Make sure that when you date people, they aren’t being compared to your ex. Going out on dates can be a fun way to enjoy the company of others and learn more about what you want in life as well. Should you find another partner to go long term with, you’ll know that all of this advice was spot on.
About Tom Savage
Tom Savage is a serial dater living in Miami Beach, Florida. In between pool parties, late nights, and an occasional day trading session, he likes to share his tips on meeting women online. You can contact Tom on this page.