What to Text Your Girlfriend After a Fight

I’ve had many encounters with women I’ve dated that have led to fighting. It happens, and it’s just a part of life.  Sometimes the fights can be very subtle and stand-offish, and other times they can be very severe and agitating.  Whatever the level of fighting you engage in, you need to know how to handle yourself like a man and say the right things if you want to keep your relationship intact.

Resolving fights can often lead you to understand why you were fighting in the first place.  Often times the resolution is a time where you learn from the mistake or misunderstanding.

Fighting is a pain in the ass, and you can often times say things you’ll wish you didn’t say.  When you find yourself saying things that you regret, as I often have, you’ll have to refer to these steps if you are going to try to make up via a text message communication.

what to text after a fight

Texts to Send Your Girlfriend After a Fight

This is my guide (I’ll admit, got some pointers from this gal and added my own twist) to get you through a very short, yet detailed plan so you can recover your girl and continue with your relationship goals.

#1:  Keep Your Cool

I learned long ago that when you lose your temper, very bad things happen.  I’ll never forget my old business partner painting his girlfriends door green in a drunken fight while she tossed all of his belongings over her balcony in South Beach.  What a site – if you were a gawker like me with nothing to lose.  While that story will be repeated forever in my mind, and is something I can laugh at, my friend is now considered a “Psycho.”  He didn’t keep his emotions in check, instead – he let them get the best of him.

Many negative things can happen when you don’t give yourself time to settle the hell down.  You’ll do a lot of things that she’ll find unattractive, and you will only hurt yourself.  You could be enraged, clingy, or obsessive, which are all bad things.

For starters, follow these steps to keep your cool after a fight:

  • Cease all communication while she’s on tilt.  You won’t get anywhere.  Let the situation calm down.  She may provoke you, but don’t take the bait.
  • Take some deep breaths and make sure you think to yourself how much you love her.
  • Occupy your time with something.  Gym, walk, anything really.

#2:  Figure Out What Went Wrong and Be Responsible

Okay, so this is when you sit back and analyze what went wrong.  Ask yourself the question “what was the fight about anyways?”

If you were in the wrong, or handled things poorly, man up.  This is when you reflect and think about where the relationship stands.

Can you fix this problem?  If so, think about what went wrong and make a list of these issues.  This is going to be the focal point for your apology.

#3:  Figure Out The Words to Text Her

Do you want to keep this flame going, or do you want to break up?  If the issue at hand is something you can’t fix, it could be that it’s better to just end things gently.  You may have to just call it a day and face the fact that most relationships, even marriage – comes to a screeching halt.  On the other hand, if this is a minor issue that caused this that you can power past, here are your next steps to making sure you send the right text message.

  • Make sure that you don’t launch insults at her.  Anything you do to fire her up will only escalate the fight instead of solving it.
  • Own up to your mistakes, and man up by taking responsibility for your actions.  If you were out of line, tell her this.
  • We all make mistakes, so apologize with sincerity. It shows her you really care.
  • Don’t make idiotic demands.  Once she settles down, if she is rational, she will apologize if she was wrong.  If she doesn’t, and she was wrong, you should start looking for a new girlfriend or just find a fling online.

Once you tackle the above bullet points, get your apology down pat.  The goal here is to start a real conversation about the issue at hand and relax the situation.  Don’t even think about saying something that ends with “But,” or you’ll just open her up to attack back at you.

Example of what not to write:

“I’m very sorry for what happened last night, BUT you started it.”  

Instead, say something along these lines:

“Baby, I know we are both upset, but I feel compelled to apologize.  I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did and I take ownership of my mistakes.”

If she doesn’t get back to you with forgiveness, you need to just end it there.  What you don’t want to do is open up the fight again and get insults in return for your apology.

#4:  After The Text Exchange

When you solve the problem, assuming that you did (Skip these steps if you just flat out broke up) you need to take action so that the argument won’t repeat itself.  Of course, arguments are going to happen, but if you can stop the brutal blows and unkind words before they become irreparable, you’ll do a lot to avoid future fighting.

What I do is think long and hard about a “stop word” I can insert into our mutual vocabulary so that fights don’t get to that level.  With one relationship, the “stop word” was simply “baby, let’s back up and think through why we are at such an impasse.  I don’t want this spiraling out of control.”

Of course, your wording can be whatever you want, but the important thing here is that you set something in place that will avoid the fight from happening.

With that in mind, you now know what to text your girlfriend after a fight.

Here’s a classic video of the funniest break up text messages.  Hopefully that will generate a laugh for you.


Tom Savage is a serial dater living in Miami Beach, Florida. In between pool parties, late nights, and an occasional day trading session, he likes to share his tips on meeting women online. You can contact Tom on this page.

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