Foods That Make You Horny

We all like to make our partners horny – why wouldn’t we? 

You’ve done the basics.   You sprayed cologne.  You survived Christmas thanks to your epic Christmas gift to her.  But you still aren’t sealing the deal.

So let’s resort to something that everyone loves – FOOD.  Not just any food, but foods that make people horny.

Top 12 Foods That Make Men and Women Horny

There are several foods that can get your loved one, or one night stand, in the mood.  Today we’ll talk about foods that make people horny.

#1:  Celery

Yes, this boring stalk of lettuce type green vegetable is something that contains androsterone, which does NOT contain odor, and when released, turns women on.  (Wish we could get this in a spray bottle.)

#2:  Oatmeal

Yeah, I looked at the Quaker Oats box myself and saw that old dude with that shit eating grin and thought to myself “this guy fucks.”  Just look at how confident he is.  Well, turns out, oatmeal increases your testosterone, and contains L-arginine.  L-arginine increases blood flow to the clitoris and also gets rid of the possibility of ED.  Yep, can’t make that shit up.

#3:  Garlic

Now before you go around and start making your own garlic flavored oatmeal, remember that garlic also gives you dog shit breath.  But, as science has it, garlic contains allicin, which increases blood flow to the sexual organs.

#4:  Mango

Think about it, it’s a tropical fruit, found in exotic places like Costa Rica.  Mangos just lead to good sex.

#5:  Sesame Seeds 

First off, they are nuts.  Nuts are the slang word for testicles, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise.  It’s just science, people.

#6:  Steak

My favorite food in the world actually helps me get down?  This is a game changer. I could cut out carbs forever if I could live healthy on red meat alone.  I don’t need anything else.  I’d be at Prime 112 nightly if I knew I could order a ribeye black and blue and get laid.  Rich in zinc, steak increases your libido.  #BOOM

#7:  Avocados

Great food for your heart, rich in antioxidants as well.  Anything that’s good for your heart, is good for your sex life.  Trust me there.

#8:  Watermelon

Not only do I call big boobs watermelons, but I also like to eat this fruit as well.  That’s because they contain lycopene, citrulline, and beta-carotene.  These all help relax blood vessels, which boosts your sexual drive.

#9:  Black Raspberries

Because they have seeds, which are little nuts.  See #5.

#10:  Broccoli

So good for you for so many reasons.  Broccoli has vitamin c, which increase libido.

#11:  Bananas

Shaped like a weiner, this doesn’t shock me.  They have bromelain enzyme, which is good for both men and women, for different reasons.

#12:  Almonds

Nuts.  For.  The.  Win.  See #5 and #9.